Thursday, December 23, 2010

Hatred is not for Champs

In instances that I could never imagine myself to be at, I have finally found myself in a situation, that I can say, that I am at my lowest point. This lowest point isn't anything about failing, depression, inactivity, or anything like such. The lowest point that I have experienced now, for me, is when I experience hatred. An intense feeling that eats you up, makes you frustrated, and is stored inside of you like some energy that needs to be released. I constantly find myself on random aggression, as I think of thoughts that are bothering me. I find myself getting up and doing some shadow boxing, hitting the bed, and shouting at the top of my lungs, which is all the effect of the anger that I am feeling as of this moment. At the end of the day, I find myself being miserable, making sleeping a challenge, as I have found it difficult to put my mind at rest, with an anger in my mind and heart. Oh what a feeling it would be, when I unleash this on the person I hated. I feel like I would keep loading up punches, until there is no hatred left inside of me. I feel like a volcano, bursting in flames, and I wanted every flame that I have, to devour the person that I hate. I know that I should be in control of myself and my emotions. I know I am a fighter, and that a fight anytime of the day will be welcomed, but using this advantage against a non-fighter would be shameful to my part. God didn't entrusted me with the gift of power, to wreck havoc, but he gave it to me for a purpose, and I believe that purpose is for me to be a champion, and inspire the world. The events that triggered this emotion, hasn't left my mind and it keeps growing inside of my heart. Although, I will try to relax myself for the moment, but I will never forget the events that took place, and when the time comes, I will definitely need to confront him, to finish the issue and my misery. Nothing is more dangerous than a person who is at his limits. A true champion knows how to control his emotions when he is tested, that way he becomes more focused as his opponent becomes more frustrated. I want to learn every part of this experience, as God should have wanted me to grow from this. It is all a learning process, on the ever difficult and winding roads of becoming a true champion. I will try and be better every time, for the world to know my greatness.. For God, for the world, and for myself.

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